Remember that old nursery rhyme, The Farmer in the Dell?
The farmer in the dell,
the farmer in the dell,
hi-ho the cherry-o,
the farmer in the dell.
The farmer takes a wife,
the farmer takes a wife,
hi-ho the cherry-o,
the farmer takes a wife.
It continues in this vein, as the wife take a child, the child takes a nurse, the nurse a cow, the cow a dog, the dog a cat, the cat a mouse, and the mouse the cheese, until the cheese stands alone.
In grade school, we played this game, skipping in circles holding hands while the farmer stood in the center and picked out his or her "wife." I remember rarely joining that center circle as anything but the cheese. Yes, I was the proverbial "last one picked" for the kickball/softball/basketball/dodgeball team. I was the handicap, the odd one out.
At the time, this killed me. All I ever wanted was someone to like me! And after years of being treated like a pariah, I was forced to come to the decision that I didn't care, that to be like the cheese, to stand alone, wasn't nearly as repugnant as I'd imagined it to be. An attitude shift occurred inside me and shaped my outlook on life from that point forward.
The fact that I am the cheese is now a point of pride. It means that I can and will explore the world, unfettered by the judgment or expectations of others. I can learn about myself and the world without inhibitions. I have given myself permission to be 100% me.
